When will my non-verbal child speak?

Non verbal child

I can’t tell you how many times over the past 7 years I have googled ‘when will my child speak’ but it is a lot.  It is also really pointless, no one can answer the questions when or will a child speak.  Every child is totally different some will speak and others won’t. However much I know in my head that it really doesn’t matter when or if my son will speak my heart still has me asking those questions.  To be honest I ask it much less now 7 years in than I did when he was say 2/3 but some days the question still comes to mind. It doesn’t help that this question is constantly asked by well meaning friends and relatives either.

Autism Facebook groups are filled with parents whose first question to the group was ‘at what age did your child start speaking’. This is because it is so common for autistic children to have delayed speech development. Ironically most autistic children will have either early /advanced speech or a delay. Very few fit the same speech development path as their peers. 

What defines a child as non-verbal?

I can’t find a consensus on defining someone as non-verbal.  Whilst the term is used for someone with no speech at all many people classed as ‘non-verbal’ will have a handful of words.  For example my son can clearly say ‘no’ and ‘cake’.  The majority of my research came up with those with between 0-12 words are classed as non-verbal.

Signing makaton

It can quickly get very complicated. Many will learn to count 1-10 or say the alphabet or at least make the sounds for this. There is also the issue that I understand when my son says ‘pad’ it means iPad but to others it may just sound like a noise that they would not class as a word. 

Being mute is not the same as non-verbal. You may use the term non verbal / non speaking for ease as others will understand they cannot currently speak.  Selective mutism does not mean someone is choosing not to speak. It is related to anxiety / stress and there will be times when they are able to speak and times when they cannot.

Regression                                             

Regression can be common in young autistic children and you may find a child unable to say words that they have in the past.  Usually the child will regain these words in the future. 

What is pre-verbal?

The term pre-verbal is often used to describe a child with a few words who is expected to speak in time.  If the child is making appropriate sounds, attempts at words it is likely they are delayed and will gain some speech in the future. 

Non-verbal does not mean no communication

Just because someone is not speaking it doesn’t mean they lack understanding or the ability to communicate.  This is where alternative communication methods come in like signing, the Picture Exchange Communication System or digital communication devices.  Every person’s comprehension and communication will be different.

non verbal

It highly recommend you read The Reason I Jump and Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 both by Japanese author Naoki Higashida who is autistic and non verbal.  The first book was written when he was just 13 and provides a brilliant insight to his world.

A great short video to watch is called Listen. It is the non speaking communities response to how nonspeakers are represented in books, theatre, and film.

So will my child speak?

There are many children who gain speech for the first time after age 5. Some will start to speak in adolescence and most will gain a number of phrases even if fluent speech is not acquired.  Much of the figures out there suggest a third of autistic people may never speak. However this is a very poorly researched and quite frankly many more complex individuals who have been institutionalized for the majority of their lives may not have been given the right support to develop their speech or communication.   

The truth is there is always hope for language development. The key is supporting your child to independently communicate weather that is via alternative communication or speech. I believe all people can communicate the problem is many of us are only listening to speech. It is important to tune into other communication than speech. We need to always provide communication opportunities and never assume someone can’t do something.

How to support a non speaking child?

If like me you have a child who isn’t speaking the main aim is to support them to provide a method of communication. Here are some posts that you may find helpful:

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9 Comments

  1. 3rd March 2021 / 10:17 pm

    My son would not engage with PECS and has physical disabilities which meant that signing was limiting for him. The experts didn’t believe that he had the capability to use a device to talk for him, so I borrowed one from a company. It took several weeks for him to learn, but, once he realised that that touching a button with a specific picture on caused the device to say what he wanted to do he excelled. He has problems with the muscles in his face so there was an issue with speech being hard but I also felt that he didn’t know that he needed to tell me things in order for me to know what he wanted. Borrowing the device was the start of him making sounds and starting to talk.

    • admin
      Author
      4th March 2021 / 8:46 pm

      It’s brilliant that there are so many speech aids available. It makes so much difference when we can find ways to communicate that work for our kids.

  2. 4th March 2021 / 8:45 pm

    Really informative post, thank you for sharing, hope it will help many people and thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS

  3. 4th March 2021 / 10:13 pm

    It is so true that communication doesn’t have to just be verbal. I always find it so interesting reading about the different ways and methods people use to communicate. #KCACOLS

    • admin
      Author
      4th March 2021 / 10:15 pm

      Communication really is fascinating x

  4. 4th March 2021 / 10:41 pm

    This is a really informative post that will help many people to gain a better understanding.
    I think it is super important and helpful for people to recognise that there are so many more ways to communicate other than verbal speech.
    Sending love xx
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS

  5. 6th March 2021 / 6:38 pm

    You are right, finding other ways to communicate like signing, pictures, etc is also very important and valid. As you said, every child is different and will learn at their own pace. Very informative post that will be very helpful to so many parents. Thanks for sharing it at t#KCACOLS xx

  6. 22nd August 2021 / 9:16 am

    This is a good post. I recall my son was about 3ish, he was non-verbal then. We had just watched Mr.Tumble wild park animals. I also had toy animals in front of us. I named & signed each. Then I asked him for the giraffe. He passed it to me. This moment was a great shift for us, I knew he was taking things in. Luckily my background is in disability & interpreting. So I started giving visual choices for everything. Allowing your child to experience a sense of ‘agency’ is critical, & we used to play the bubbles game. He had to say or sign more in order for me to blow the bubble. I had a very good speech therapist in Bristol that only worked with non-verbal children, so in the earlier years this is what we focused on.

    • admin
      Author
      22nd August 2021 / 9:39 am

      Thanks Nikki. I have been working with lots of parents of young children and it reminded me how important it is parents understand to support communication and give their kids time for speech. The visuals really are a game changer. Bubbles are always brilliant too.

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